Ass Biting -- It's Not Funny! OK, It is...

The quickest way for a mother to get her kids' attention is to sit down and look comfortable. It seems that every time I sit down to relax, they have an issue...
"Mommy, I'm thirsty", "Mommy, I want a snack", "Mommy, I have to go potty", "Mommy, my brother bit my butt!".
WHAT?!? Did he just say his brother bit his butt?!? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!! LMFAO. Oh wait, that's not funny.... YES IT IS!!!

Now W1 is sobbing and distraught because he is in terrible ass-pain and his mommy is laughing at him. *stop laughing, stop laughing*
Trying to compose myself I manage to have this conversation with my oldest son:

"What's wrong baby?" *snicker snicker*
"Brother *sob* bit me *sob* on the butt!"
BWAHAHAHA!
*hysterical child* "STOP LAUGHING!"
*OK, it's not funny..stop laughing*
"Mommy, why are you laughing at me?"
*stop laughing, stop laughing* "I'm not laughing at YOU, Baby" *giggle*
"Mommy, you're SO MEAN! Stop laughing!" *runs away crying*
"Come back here, Baby, let me see your boo-boo".

I unveil his bum and *Holy Crap* his brother bit him HARD! The little vampire child almost broke his brother's skin! Poor baby. He is really hurt and I'm laughing at him. *worst mother of the year award right here* So, to make myself feel better, I put the vampire child in time-out for biting and post this on my facebook:

W1 just ran up to me crying, "Mommy! Mommy! Brother bit my butt!". Then he got pissed at me for laughing. I feel kind of bad now because I looked at his butt and his brother bit him HARD! It almost broke the skin. I hope I never have to explain why he has a bruise in the shape of teeth marks on his butt. SMH.

W1 is feeling better now that he got some sympathy from mommy and returns to his room to play. Now the big question is: why did W2 bite his brother's butt??? And, was I totally mean for laughing?


© 2010 CJH