You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Post Is About You

Well, *sad for you* it's all about me.


To whom it may concern... I am a hot momma of three boys *kill me now* a wife of a Marine *OOH-RAH* and a member of the Armed Forces myself *the blue side*
After being told for the bazillionth time by my friends and family to write a blog, I am now sitting here in front of my computer horrified because I have nothing of importance to write about.
So, I will just tell you that if my children don't take their naps I am going to lose my effin mind! The oldest is in his room pretending to sleep *good enough for me* the middle child is trashing his room, and the baby is throwing stuff down the stairs. Oh what fun for me. I love being a mom *no really, I do* No matter how much I love my children, I have to admit that I would rather be at work. Seriously. I consider work a vacation from this pit of despair *AKA being a SAHM* I used to feel guilty when working mothers would cry about how much they wish they could stay at home with their kids. Well, I don't. And if I get another pitiful look of disdain after telling someone I would rather work than stay at home, I swear on my hot pink pointy-toed pumps that I will slap a bitch.
Other things about me:
* I'm slightly OCD.
* I call myself a Conservative Hippie *oxymoron, I know*
* I'm a very giving and loving person, but don't piss me off because I go from 0 to Psycho Bitch in 3.9 seconds.
* I like to throw things when I'm mad *see above*
* I love my job.
* I make a camouflage utility uniform look smokin' hot.
* I'm a good dancer, especially Latin dancing.
* I'm a MILF. My husband calls me his MIF. *figure it out on your own*
* I'm a CONTROL FREAK.
* I love shoes! *especially pointy-toed pumps*
* I have a dirty mind and appreciate 'that's what she said' jokes.
* I like lists *ya think?* I live by lists. If it is not on my list, it doesn't exist.

That is all.

© 2010 CJH